Hail the Conquering Hero (me)!

Let’s get down to it. Peter hates snakes. He’s terrified of them. Screams like a girl, runs away, doesn’t want to be near them, doesn’t even like to touch things they’ve touched. He has given me permission to say all these things, by the way. He says he’s not ashamed ( even though he should be, just a little).

Imagine his surprise when he turned around in his workshop/shed early Sunday morning and this guy was hanging out on a shelf at eye level.

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I asked Peter later if its eyes glowed red when he first saw it.

 

I heard a screaming from outside and ran out to find Peter doing some kind of “get off get off get off” dance and telling The Boy to get away from the shed. There was a 3.5′ long black snake hanging out in Peter’s personal space.

Let me be clear: I don’t like snakes, either. I understand they have a place in our ecosystem, and I don’t necessarily wish harm on them, but they move weirdly and are welcome to stay the hell away from me. We will get along fine if we are in completely different parts of the yard.

Despite my own fears, Peter couldn’t handle the removal of this thing. I told him I’d take care of it and he acted like I was nuts, but then proceeded to watch as I chased it around the shed for the next hour or so. I kept trying to coax it out the door and it kept hiding behind things. I legit saw it slither UP a wall at one point (to get into this position above, in which he was originally hiding behind a giant slab of oak). Finally, I told Pete to go get a box and I gently tipped him into the box with a rake.

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The Boy and The Dog and The Husband (not pictured) backseat driving my heroic snake-catching activities. This is directly before my “into the box” maneuver (see the Pampers box on the floor?). I was building up the courage for my last stand against the snake.

After that I lost my mind a little because it tried to slither up and out of the box and I screamed and Pete screamed (from 15′ behind me) and I finally tamped it down with the top of the rake and tried to tape the box shut. That didn’t work because I didn’t have the right flaps down in the right order. So Pete got me a trash bag, which ended up not fitting over the top of the box, and I had to tape it all up, anyway. Which meant I had to be within arm’s length of the snake for like 2 minutes.

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With the bag I attempted to put over the box and ended up taping all around it.

Peter wanted me to take the snake far away, so I put it in the truck and drove about 4 miles away and released it by a stream. I hope he’s okay…well, i hope he’s not hurt by my actions. He’s on his own after that. I toyed with the idea of telling Pete there was no snake in the box when I got to the river, but I figured that might be overly cruel.

(ETA: Peter wanted me to make something clear here. The snake was in there because a bunch of baby birds, whom he and The Boy had been monitoring and watching as they grew had left the nest the night before and had been flitting around the shed learning to fly. The snake, we are pretty sure, had eaten at least one of the baby birds, as I noticed a baby-bird-sized bulge in his snake body. So, the snake is a true super villain and ruiner of Peter’s bird family’s life.)

Otherwise, our other weekend adventure was going to our favorite specialty lumber yard for some poplar that Peter needs for a woodworking project with his museum studies students.

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The Boy always ends up FILTHY after we go to this place.

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I always ogle the cherry wood. It’s such a pretty color.

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Talk about an ill-fated trip. The Boy did okay until Peter wanted to stop at an antique store to look at antique tools…and he promptly threw up all over himself, the car seat, the car, everything. I started giggling while I tried to clean it because it was all so futile. But everybody made it home a little stinky and worse for wear, but toting wood, foodstuffs from Trader Joe’s, and an antique hammer, drill, and Wilson the train from Chuggington.

And finally, we’ve been plugging away at non-house related projects. Peter recently got an old lathe on eBay and when he had to drive up to northern Illinois to see his family a few weeks ago, he picked it up and brought it down. He’s been learning to turn things.

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He turned the base of this (unfinished) table from a dead cherry tree he cut down in the yard. With an axe. Which was originally something he decided to purchase as a workout method, because he is him. But I digress.

He also built this chair a while back. I showed it when he was still working on it, but it’s finished now, I think.

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This is why we can never be tiny house people, despite a general preference for living simply. We love furniture, especially case furniture, too much. Where would we put all of Peter’s treasures?

Also, we’ve also been working on a revamping of The Boy’s sleeping situation, and that has turned into a plan to build him a rocket bed. Peter’s working on what, exactly, that means, but my job was to sew him a blanket suitable for said rocket bed.

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I bought a couple yards of cuddly flannel with stars all over it and appliqued an “L” in cotton on the front before sewing. On the backing, I used a white fabric with constellations all over it and appliqued a small moon in the bottom right-hand corner. The Boy loves moons, and this is like his little secret on his blanket. It’s hidden unless he wants to show somebody or pull it out and look at it.

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Because the flannel really didn’t slip on the cotton, I simply did the applique, sewed it rights sides together, trimmed, flipped it right sides out, and top-stitched. I’m sure if it was slippery material, I’d have needed to added quilting of some sort, but then I’d have had to bind the whole thing and I wasn’t up for that. The flannel seems to keep the cotton in place, so I think it’ll be fine. I really didn’t want it to be much warmer than the two layers of fabric, anyway; The Boy is a little radiator when he sleeps.

So those are the projects we’ve been working on lately! I probably won’t be writing next week; I’m having sinus surgery and I think that’ll put a halt to productivity for a little while. Or I’ll be super productive and have tons to write about in two weeks, but I’m gonna take the pressure off to write next week. Happy making!

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2 Responses to Hail the Conquering Hero (me)!

  1. Paardje says:

    OMG, you are SO brave! I almost fainted myself when I saw the 1st picture o_O I can’t believe you did such a thing! Chasing/coaxing it around!? Taping the box?! I couldn’t even …. o_O You are SO brave!

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